Wife abuse has hurt many Muslim women, destroyed many Muslim families, and weakened the entire Muslim community. How much longer can Muslims afford to look the other way? The best of you are those who treat their wives the best.
Domestic violence is the single major cause of injury to women in America. Based on information from Muslim leaders, social workers, and activists in North America, the North American Council for Muslim Women says that approximately 10 percent of Muslim women are abused emotionally, physically, and sexually by their Muslim husbands.
There are no hard numbers, because community leaders haven't taken the well-known problem seriously enough to research. Wife-abuse, which stretches across all ethnic, racial, educational, and socio-economic lines in the Muslim community, results in severe emotional and physical pain for many Muslim women, a stacking up of sins for many Muslim men, and many weak, unhappy Muslim families that fail to contribute adequately to the development of the Muslim community and the rest of North American society.
Despite the severity of the problem, the Muslim community has largely closed its eyes and devoted very few resources to helping the victims and stopping the abusers. This is doubly unfortunate because family violence is one of America's most critical health problems according to the American Medical Association and the U. Surgeon Generaland Islamic leadership is needed to deal with this crisis; but Muslims are clearly in no moral position to lead society because they commit and tolerate abuse within their own community.
Although Islam promises women protection from such problems, the reality in many Muslim homes is different. The most common form of abuse is emotional and mental abuse. In Muslim homes, this includes verbal threats to divorce the wife, to remarry, or to take the kids away if she does not do exactly as she is told; intimidation and threats of harm; degradation, humiliation, insults, ridicule, name-calling, and criticism; false accusations and blaming her for everything; ignoring, dismissing, or ridiculing her needs; neglect and the silent treatment; spying on her; telling her she is a failure and will go to hell; twisting Islamic teachings to make her feel worthless because she is a woman; restricting her access to transportation, health care, food, clothing, money, friends, or social services; physical and social isolation; extreme jealousy and possessiveness; lying, breaking promises, destroying trust; etc.
Emotional abuse can take place in public or at home. Although it's completely contrary to the example of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, the Muslim community nonetheless tends to dismiss the seriousness of mental abuse, rationalizing it as a petty argument between husband and wife, and saying it's not serious unless he hits her. In reality, mental abuse does severe psychological harm to many Muslim women.
It destroys their self-esteem and makes them question their self-worth; some have mental breakdowns and go insane. Furthermore, psychological abuse can lead to physical abuse. Physical abuse includes pushing, shoving, choking, slapping, punching, kicking, and beating; assault with a weapon; tying up; refusing to help her when she is sick or injured; physically throwing her out of the house; etc.
Physical abuse escalates in frequency and severity. The third form of abuse is sexual abuse, involving forced, violent sex. For example, a wife may not want to have sex for health reasons, but the husband may force her anyway.
This Is What Islam Has To Say About The Men Who Abuse And Beat Their Wives!
These three forms of abuse are usually related and occur of a long period of time. Muslim men, just like non-Muslims, often start with mental abuse and work their way up. Muslim women need to recognize the signs of escalating abuse. There are a number of factors that make many Muslim men abusive.
Abusers are often part of a cycle, picking up the habit after watching their own fathers abuse their mothers in North America or in Muslim countries. And their own children learn this abusive behavior and abuse their wives. This is an important point because the longer the Muslim community tolerates abuse, the longer it will be passed on from father to son, from generation to generation.
For cultural reasons, some Muslim men accept the idea that it's normal for a man to hit his wife and that she is no more than a piece of his property. Some Muslim husbands abuse their wives as a result of frustration resulting from economic hardship, political oppression experienced outside the U. Some abuse their wives because they want them to be more "modern" and less Islamic by removing their hijab Islamic dresswhile others are abusive because they want the opposite.
Some Muslims with superficial ties to Islam don't know that abuse is unacceptable due to their weak faith, poor Islamic knowledge, and lack of interaction with the Muslim community. Tragically, some Muslim men actually use Islam to "justify" their abusive behavior.
Focusing on rituals, considering themselves to be Islamically knowledgeable, and disregarding the spirit of Islam, they wrongly use the Qur'anic verse that says men are the protectors and maintainers of women to go on power trips, demand total obedience, and order their wives around. They disregard the Islamic requirement for the head of the household to consult with other members of the family when making decisions.Nuv manishiva leda kukkava andhradesam lo putti chi sigguledu vere kathalurai me ammanu akkakanu ilage dengavanuv chi?
Nee yammani gadidalo denginchukomani cheppu danivi baga peddaga untayi moddalu lanja kodaka. Kojja na koduka niku siggu lekunna mi nana amma ninnu anthe kanna ra ra mi famili motham aa type na ra. Sulligaa vaavi varusalu leeva, Nelanti vaadu earth meedha unna okate lekapoyeena okate. Donga Mundakodaka, Lanjakodaka, Dommarnakodaka family mottam dommarollaentira e maatram bedam lekundaa pravartistunnaru.
Rey lafoot ga Lanja kodaka amma akka pellamu antg okatenara kodja na kodaka e lanti kathalu rasavo. Hi aunty's me puku nakinchukovalante call me nenu eddaru aunty's puku nakanu vallu naku call chesi nakinchukunnaru miku intereste unte call me.
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Wife Abuse in the Muslim Community
It only takes a minute to sign up. My husband wants to marry my niece. I am not opposed to it, because he is a good man and she we both will benefit greatly.
I am just having a hard time finding if it's legal. Prohibited to you For marriage are:- Your mothers, daughters, sisters; father's sisters, Mother's sisters; brother's daughters, sister's daughters; foster-mothers Who gave you suckfoster-sisters; your wives' mothers; your step-daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom ye have gone in,- no prohibition if ye have not gone in;- Those who have been wives of your sons proceeding from your loins; and two sisters in wedlock at one and the same timeexcept for what is past; for Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful;- The Sister of the wife and her descendants are woman who are haram to marry simultaneously to the actual wife.
If the man divorced his wife or she died he can marry either her sister or her niece. One could indirectly conclude this from the above verse or better rely on the sunnah:. So according to this Fatwa as long as the wife is alive or still married to his current wife the husband is prohibited to marry her niece. As the haram not mahram as they are no real mahrams status stays as long as the wife is alive or still in his hands.
This is the Sunni point of view i found a shia Fatwa which allow it only if the wife herself agrees to that marriage! No, he can't. While you two are married, your husband is an uncle to your niece, and marrying one's uncle is not allowed by consensus. Following links may help further in understanding the issues:. She is a mehrama to your husband as long as he is married to you, soon he divorce you, he can marry her.
But in case your husband is following Shi'a fikah, he can marry her with your permission. It clearly states the principle of precedent. If a man marries a woman; then there is no issue in him marrying her niece too. However, if he marries the niece first and consummates the marriage, then he cannot marry the aunt until he either divorces the niece or the niece dies.
Ibn Abbas narrated: "The Prophet prohibited marrying a woman along with her paternal aunt or along with her maternal aunt. Sign up to join this community. The best answers are voted up and rise to the top. Home Questions Tags Users Unanswered. Can my husband marry my niece, my sister's daughter?
Asked 4 years, 11 months ago. Active 1 year, 2 months ago. Viewed 15k times. Peter Mortensen 4 4 bronze badges. Kerri Kerri 11 1 1 gold badge 1 1 silver badge 2 2 bronze badges. I can't find the case of marrying a 'niece of one's wife' in the above link.During these challenging times, we guarantee we will work tirelessly to support you.
We will continue to give you accurate and timely information throughout the crisis, and we will deliver on our mission — to help everyone in the world learn how to do anything — no matter what.
Thank you to our community and to all of our readers who are working to aid others in this time of crisis, and to all of those who are making personal sacrifices for the good of their communities. We will get through this together. Updated: July 16, References. To be a successful Muslim wife, show your husband love, respect, and affection, and ask that they treat you in the same way. Share responsibility for your daily life, and enjoy one another's company.
Together you can strengthen each other's faith and live a pious and loving life. If you want to be a successful Muslim wife, be open about what you expect from your spouse and encourage them to do the same, so you can build trust and strengthen your relationship.
You should also make sure to share responsibilities around the house. For example, if your husband doesn't notice when things are messy, consider asking him to be in charge of certain chores.
In addition to working well together, have fun together by exploring activities you both like or trying something new. As you spend time with your spouse, look for Allah's love in his words, deeds, and appearance. To improve both of your relationships with Islam, consider studying it together.
Article Edit. Learn why people trust wikiHow. To create this article, 69 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. Together, they cited 17 references. This article has also been viewedtimes.
The social and cultural consequences of being childless in poor-resource areas
Learn moreHe mentioned in his story that he earned money in two ways. One is working as a journalist for Andhrajyothi and the other one is doing some small businesses.
He conveniently ignored to inform another source of income thorough the political broker activities because it is not a respectable way of making money. Very true!!
He asks very dirty questions in Open heart. He is bloody rogue and his channel is showing all dirty phone conversations and SMS and even videos which is not useful to society. You rogue stop all this things otherwise god will bless you one day that one of your family member will be in the similar situation.
CBN son and Devender Gowd son had raped upcoming heroine and killed her brutally show all those stories.
Even your son and daughter look like buffalos they defintely may be ambothulu who are on society first control your kids. Dirty Rogue Boss if u have common sense u would not have used this type dirty language. Before comments we should think once. Gummalla Please be decent while posting and commenting on such things.
Hahahaha "dear admin" lmao!!!! This fuckers i don't know where they will come. Nuvvu chusava RK pellanni tarche broker ani. Oka roju chalu Radhakrishna lanti vallu dasaniki adarsham ra Cool guys.!! Why you people are fighting for some one. Else nothing come to you.Approximately million couples world wide are currently infertile Bos et al. For most people, having children is immensely important; not being able to have children is a major life problem.
There is also a large group of women and men, who have children, possibly form a previous relationship, who desperately wants to have another child. A considerable body of research in Western countries has shown that involuntary childlessness has strong psychological consequences see for reviews: Greil, ; Brokvich and Fisher, Most of the studies carried out in this domain are quantatitative and some are qualitative.
Both kind of studies, point in the same direction: there are various psychological and psychosomatic effects, and especially women are affected.
The most frequently mentioned effects are distress, raised depression and anxiety levels, lowered self-esteem, feelings of blame and guilt, somatic complaints, and reduced sexual interest. For a small minority of women and men in the Western world these effects are at a clinical level or can be considered extremely serious Greil, It is interesting that social and cultural consequences are seldom mentioned in the reports on these studies.
When these aspects are considered, they are often related to studies about elderly people without children, regardless of the reason for being childless. It is stressed in the reports of these studies that frail old people without children have less social support cf. Wirtberg and co-workers however, carried out a study that is unique in the sense that it aims at elderly involuntarily childless women. They reported on 14 women, and described that in all cases but one sexual life was affected negatively and that half of these elderly childless women were separated.
Some studies, report the difficulty that childless couples have in communicating with friends who do have children. They describe negative although sometimes well-meant remarks within the couples' social worlds, for instance at birthday parties and other social gatherings; however, supportive reactions are also mentioned very often Greil, ; van Balen et al.
It is possible for childless couples to participate in the 'world of children', especially if couples have good friends or relatives who have children. They are able to participate in the lives and activities of the children of their friends and relatives by, for instance taking care of the children for a part of the week or when the parents are on holiday; taking the children to school, music lessons or sports activities; or going to games or shows in which the children participate.
An early study on childlessness found that about ten per cent of couples had chosen this strategy as a way of coming to terms with their childless life van Balen, Also, recently Wirtberg and colleagues described this as typical coping strategy for childlessness. It appears that in the West childless people are not formally excluded from being involved with raising children.
In the s, studies were published about the effects of childlessness in developing countries. The focus of these studies was different from studies carried out in the West. Although psychological effects are described, the main concerns are social and cultural effects van Balen and Inhorn, This paper presents a review and an analysis of the results of the studies done to date in poor-resource areas regarding the social and cultural effects of being childless. To collect the studies, four Internet online databases were searched.
Finally papers that were possibly additional to the Internet search, were collected from special issues of journals on the topic of infertility in poor resource areas, viz: Patient Education and Counseling, Reproductive Health MattersJournal of Infant and Reproductive PsychologyJournal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics and Gynaecology A method based on interpretative phenomenological analysis IPA; Smith and Osborn, was used to order the results reported in the studies.
IPA is especially useful in exploring and ordering new topics Chapman and Smith, This method is normally used in empirical studies, in this case however it was adapted for application to a literature review. The adaptation process started from a certain framework of analysing and grouping results, followed by recoding and regrouping of the results, adapting the framework definitions of concepts, and then re-assessing and improving the way the findings of the various studies were ordered so as to establish the final framework and definitions of concepts and to locate the results in the categories and levels.
To improve coherence and consistency, the co-author also coded categories, levels and frequency indications of a quarter of the studies and evaluated the concepts and assessed the framework. In this way, the results reported in the various studies were ordered into categories, intensity levels and frequency ranges. Consequences were initially categorized according to four fields in which effects are mentioned in the various reports, namely the social, economic, legal and religious fields.So, I made a list of 10 habits that my husband has commented on over time that has produced positive changes in our relationship.
He is right, the first year of marriage is really about adapting and compromise. We are shown our terrible habits how did our parents put up with us? Adding some spice and maintaining some good habits will make a very successful and enjoyable marriage. This is by far the most important habit a Muslim Wife can do to make a successful marriage.
Before marriage, my husband and I were both active people. He was an extreme biker and I played basketball for almost 10 years before we met. After marriage and the onset of chores, work and family obligations, time for staying healthy was becoming low on our priority scale. Over time, we both forgot the initial attraction we had for one another — an active, healthy lifestyle. As we have brought the active lifestyle back into our lives, we both realize we learn a lot about each other through activity.
It is by far a crucial aspect of our relationship and one that really keeps us connected, alhamdulillah. Listen and Be Supportive One of the best things a Muslim Wife can do for her husband is be supportive.
We all know the famous story of our Beloved Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him; after receiving revelation, he came straight home to his nurturing wife, Sayyidina Khadija, may Allah be pleased with her. For me, this starts as soon as your husband comes home through the door.
Greeting your husband with a salaam, a smile and a hug is sure to set a peaceful atmosphere right away. If he is holding something in his hands, like groceries, take them from him, hand him a glass of juice or have some fruit or snacks readily available. These small gestures show simple kindness and goes a long way. If your husband had a hard day at work, the initial greeting will soothe him.
Thereafter, if he needs to vent about his boss or co-worker, listen to him. A good listener asks questions, makes good eye contact and reassures with nods and affection. Initially, take his side! The first initial response he is looking for is support and kindness from his wife, even if he is wrong.
Thereafter, of course you can give advice and guide. Another tip — remember names of people your husband says. So, lend a good ear and your hearts will come closer together.